Not another dumb comedy from a man whose mere gummy grin and goofiness can leave you crackling with laughter! Akshay the repetitive Kumar, the winning stallion on whom Bollywood producers with bulgy wallets love to bet, is failed yet again by a raggedy script stitched with juvenile humour, sleazy dialogues and painfully kitschy melodrama.The movie could be a litmus test for your LQ (laughter quotient). Sample this – the hero is detained at an airport for suspected possession of drugs. He’s taken to an interrogation room where an oversized black female smacks him face down on the table, pulls his pants down, puts on a glove on her hand, and looks for ‘hidden drugs’ in the hole that’s not hard to guess. Find that funny? Here’s more! Akshay’s sidekick Vindoo Dara Singh gulps down a protein shake mixed with Viagra and, his hormones stirred, begins to see the females at a wedding party in bras and bikinis. Not that funny? Check this out. The wedding party turns into a bash fest, with the guests punching, kicking (sometimes at objectionable places) each other and even farting. Cakes fly and land on the faces of the bride and the groom’s bro.
Even if you have stomach for this kind of humour, a visit to the theatre playing Kambakkht Ishq might leave you with an upset tummy, definitely not because of laughter.
The film is a fuhad farce about the battle of the sexes. Viraj ( Akshay Kumar ), a stuntman in Hollywood, thinks women are only good for making love. Simrita ( Kareena Kapoor ), a certified man-hater, thinks men want just one thing (not hard to guess, again) from women. The two are pitted against each other when Viraj’s brother Lucky ( Aftab Shivdasani ) and Simriti’s friend Kamini ( Amrita Arora ) get married. Both Viraj and Simriti don’t approve of the marriage and try to break the match.
From then on Viraj and Simriti keep bumping into each other – in airports and planes, in exotic Italian towns and in operation theatre in hospitals.
Director Sabbir Khan and his band of writers (Kiran Kotrial, Anvita Dutt Gupta, Ishita Mohitra) seem clearly clueless where to take the story so they keep spinning it in circles and throw in a couple of Hollywood faces like that of Sylvester Stallone, Denise Richards and Brandon Routh to flaunt to the audience how Bollywood has graduated from desi item babes to videshi atom bombs.
And having run out of the ration of gags, the director gives the story a few melodramatic twists in the end. Wow! That’s innovative! So we see Akshay giving emotional award-acceptance speeches and feeling the kick of his conscience when he gets the chance to bed Kareena. Ironically, it’s here, when the movie wants you to take kerchiefs out, that you laugh genuinely at the sheer foolishness of the kitschy sentimentality.
The brand of humour that dots ‘Kambakkht Ishq’ has already been exemplified. The less said about the music the better. The dialogues are so sleazy that you’ll keep shying away from the aunty sitting next to you. For the most part Akshay calls Kareena ‘bitch’ and she likewise calls him ‘dog’.
Among performances, only Akshay shows his characteristic sparkle here and there. He’s the one who makes the movie worth sitting through while Kareena, playing a surgeon part-timing as a model, overacts most of her part. Neither the anorexic Amrita Arora nor the brooding Aftab are funny. The same goes for Javed Jaffrey who hams through his role of a man looking for opportunities to mint money out of lawsuits. If only he could be sued for his terrible performance.
Last words – ‘Kambakkht Ishq’ may get footfalls in theatres but the film is a damned dead comedy. Watch this no-brainer at your own risk.
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